Each time we enter another relationship, join an organization, take a new job, begin a new challenge – each time we reach for something else, we analyze the risk and anticipate the reward –hoping it will turn out as planned.
We leave the homes and congregations in which we grew up, go off to college and graduate school, marry and start our own families- and join our own congregations. And so it was for Steven and me more than 16 years ago – when we deselected the synagogues closer to home in favor of Sharey Tefilo-Israel- it’s wonderful Cantor, charming new student Rabbi, eclectic and welcoming membership. We were looking for a compromise between what we were each used to – what we each wanted in a spiritual home for ourselves and our children – what felt right.
Coming to this congregation was an easy decision. The music was and still is beautiful; the clergy team was interesting then and has since gone from interesting to incredible; and the congregation was and is small enough so as not to be intimidating—and large enough to be exciting. We found here a diverse and generous congregation – with a lot to offer -- a plethora of opportunities for growth, education, friendship and belonging. And the great surprise was the unsolicited warmth, sense of community and kindness generated here.
I remember so well walking with the Torah on the day of Alex’ Bar Mitzvah – and to my surprise, finding Matty, Pauline, Annette and other senior women of our congregation sitting in the last row of the sanctuary – smiling ear to ear – there for no other reason than simply to share in our joy. I have never forgotten the kindness this congregation showed us when Steven’s parents died; and have often marveled at the number of people who simply stop to say something truly nice each time we pass. Nor have our children ever wondered why we belong here – for with each milestone reached, every celebration feted, their amazing clergy and temple friends have been right there.
Like all of you, I am a creature of habit in many ways. But sometimes, I make a deliberate and conscious effort to do things differently. For example – I get dressed and ready in no particular order each day – varying the routine to get my brain working. I take different routes to work – temple and various places I regularly go- to see different scenery, have a slightly altered experience, observe more things. And unlike many who have a preferred location in the sanctuary – I randomly select different places to sit– on purpose. Each time, my perspective and observations about the congregation change slightly. Each time, there is a little something new that I have not previously noticed. Each time, I am surrounded by different people whose prayer, facial expressions, voices and energy impact my experience. There is a true diversity in the worship here- in the services, the music – and in the way in which we pray- individually and as a community – so that prayer is meaningful for us all.
What strikes me most, however, is the composition of the congregation itself – viewed from many angles – observed from various vantage points. We are such a diverse gathering of clergy, staff, people of all ages, walks of life, backgrounds, religions, races, sexual orientations, zip codes, upbringings. It is the true richness of this community - because despite the diversity among us – or for many of us, because of it – we have all chosen this holy congregation.
When I was first approached about becoming president of this unique congregation- I was surprised- and flattered - and if truth be told, I was wondering about the judgment of the folks who were making this decision. After all, I am hardly the most reverent among us – clearly not the most religious – and perhaps not among the most easy going of the leaders this congregation has known. I have been known to be a little too opinionated at the board room table (and elsewhere) – and perhaps a bit less astute in Temple politics than one might hope. So the question was –why say yes?
For those of you who heard my HHA on Rosh Hashanah, you understand most of that “why.” The decision, as I discussed that morning, rests with our choices– looking at all of the good causes competing for our attention, skills, time and financial support – and choosing us -- choosing to support, educate and develop socially conscious, culturally enriched, community and globally minded reform Jews.
As for the other items to consider when making a volunteer decision – my criteria were, I am sure, similar to that of my fellow board members, officers and committee chairs. First, volunteering often provides substantial opportunity for growth and development. Second, we feel great pride in this community – so helping to sustain it seems natural. Third, if we can, we should. And finally, if we don’t do this – who will?
I am (please don’t hold it against me) a lawyer by training. And when I was admitted to the bar almost 25 years ago – the Honorable John Bissell, at that point, the youngest judge ever to have been appointed to the federal bench, was our keynote speaker. It was 1985 and I remember it so clearly- because for the first 30 seconds (what seemed like an eternity), he stood silently at the podium – with nothing more than a billiards rack in his hand. Resting the rack between his thumb and forefinger, he began with – this is what your life should resemble – an equilateral triangle. Each side, evenly matched, represents an important component. The first is family and friends; the second is work; and the third is community service, personal interests and volunteerism. He urged us not to let the work side become so extended that the triangle became isosoleese. He encouraged us to remain balanced and to bring that balance to a profession that did not seem to value it. He counseled us to work hard to retain our perspective, our humanity and our ethical and moral compass. And he convinced me (and I assume most of my classmates), that without the balance reflected in the billiards rack, true success would elude our grasp.
For me, Temple is a significant piece of the third side of my triangle. And so it was with a very healthy dose of humility and a little trepidation, that I accepted the unenviable challenge of following Jack to the presidency.
You must be wondering – what you can expect from this year? What are our goals and challenges – our vision for the coming months and beyond?
Here are my aspirations for our Board, Clergy and Congregation this year:--to be recognized for consistently excellent work and continuous improvement in the services, experiences and opportunities we provide to our members
--to be trusted by our congregation and the larger community to set the tone, behaviors and actions we would want modeled for us
--to be a source of pride and a congregation of choice
--to be innovative and provide thought leadership in the areas of social action, attraction and retention of members; and deeper engagement of a larger percentage of the congregation
--to heighten teamwork and have fun together; and
--to bring a spiritual component to all that we do.
We have made some significant changes over the past year or two in the way we govern this community. In that regard, our continued push for excellence in the implementation of these changes
– and our continuous willingness to make small and subtle changes, will bring us the rewards we anticipate. But leadership cannot take this journey alone. To get there, we must all continue to:
--listen actively to one another
--be receptive to a diverse exchange of ideas
--challenge one another respectfully
--presume good and positive intent/motivation
--value one another’s contributions
--provide one another with support
--empower our committees to act and respect their decisions
--partner with our clergy and professional staff – and constantly tap into their tremendous talent
--vigorously support the temple’s best interests, even if that means sublimating our own preferred position
--be constructive in our criticisms
--reach out and truly engage more and more members of our congregation.
We must strive to see possibilities instead of problems, embrace new people as though they are old friends, and incorporate change as if it were a constant and comfortable component of our everyday routine.
Our goals for this year:The demographics of American Jewry are declining; the economy is still in turmoil. Against that backdrop, we will remain fiscally prudent; continue to implement novel and innovative ways to attract and retain members; find more and different ways to meet the needs of our current membership – and maintain a warm and welcoming congregation despite our size. We will increase our reliance upon technology – becoming greener and more efficient, without sacrificing conversation or debate, remaining ever mindful that technology is only useful if it is inclusive -- and if our approach and transition are sensitive, phased in and well communicated.
We will soon complete (I promise) our construction – opening a bright, fresh, inspiring entryway into our house of prayer. We will write a brand new torah – together as a congregation – to build partnership, inclusion and strength in our community.
And finally, we will find ways to sustain and improve what we have so successfully built here. This is a wonderful congregation. But we cannot stand still – we must move forward – and stretch towards goals and initiatives that continue the vibrancy of our community– and that challenge our clergy. Our goals for this year are lofty and there is no easy home run. But we have already begun, and the thoughtfulness, enthusiasm and talent at the board room table and among the committees will get us there.
One last issue to share with you –I have been struck by the many small acts of unsolicited – gratuitous kindness I have witnessed and heard about in this congregation. Since the summer, when I first began as president – there have been so many small acts of kindness that touched my heart. I have mentioned this – to the clergy – to my family and my friends- to Jack and Leslie –because I am so proud to be part of such a kind and compassionate community. And the aggregate of these small acts helps truly define who we are as a congregation.
I mentioned this to Beth Sandweiss, our congregational social worker on Wednesday. It was the second time we had spoken and the second time I raised the issue – and she said – you know, you should really keep a log of all of these things- encourage people to send you this stuff – perhaps post it on your website – so that others can see and hear what you are seeing and hearing. That way, congregants have a way to let one another know about the small things that happen that truly matter.
Having just observed YK –we are reminded that human nature permits us – almost compels us to keep track of the wrongs that are done to us (and that we do to others) over time. Organizations, groups, companies, faith based communities are often no different. It is easy to recount the mistakes or slights that take place –easy to link them to other imperfections and mount a negative image. For some reason, however, we don’t necessarily keep that same tally when it comes to kindness and compassion – benevolence and caring.
Here is our chance to do just that – to aggregate the little things that make people feel valued, welcome, joyful and engaged – to see the magnitude of all of these seemingly small touches - that together, wrap their warmth around our congregation and make it one of which we can be so proud.
We make a difference, most of us, not because we introduce 550 pieces of legislation like Senator Kennedy, not because we get to rule the largest democracy in the world, like President Obama, not because we have the wisdom of Gandhi or the courage of Golda Meir – but because in our every day lives, we perform small acts of kindness that touch and enrich those around us – and sometimes these acts touch and enrich those that don’t yet even know us.
On Wednesday night, I excitedly told Rabbi Cohen about my conversation with Beth and her idea that we might somehow keep track of and elevate the overwhelming aggregate of goodness resident in this congregation. In response, he offered us a gift. When you return home tonight, you will be able to log on to the website and see our new blog page –
small acts = large impact. It is the beginning of our list – small acts of kindness – that mattered to someone. There are directions for how to submit your own acts, those you have seen or about which you have heard – or you can simply log on to see what others have posted. The postings will go up anonymously and will be vetted by two very thoughtful congregants beforehand.
Of course, since today is the initial launch of the blog, the list is now quite short – but soon I hope to see a myriad of postings – so that we are readily reminded of one of the very best reasons why we are here- why we chose this congregation – why we stay – and how we truly distinguish and define our sacred community.
Thank you for the opportunity to lead this awesome congregation through the next two years. I am excited about it- and honored to hold your trust.
